Free Response

I am going to compose a poem on CREATIVITY...

CREATIVITY

This is a poem, I'm writing right now.

How creative can I be?

A visual image will start this off, a red round object is coming toward ME!

This big round object it bounces quite high,

it also is quite squishy.

And if you can't take MY word for it, just go and ask the fishy!

What fishy is this, you well might ask,

well let me tell you, dear.

This fishy is not ordinary instead he grows red hair.

Upon his noble head it grows,

and grows, and grows some more.

And if we didn't cut it, it would grow right out the door!

Now if you walk right through this door and stop and wait a while,

You might just see a special thing, my smiley crocodile.

He moves his hips so wiggily,

It makes me want to laugh!

And once I've laughed my head off, I move on to my Giraffe!

An Original Poem by Brooke Thomas and Theresa Gervais

Writing Practice

I am going to rewrite one of my paragraphs from my Opinion editorial...

The last topic of discussion happens to be that of conduct. In this section of the Honor Code it is simply stated that as students of Brigham Young University we represent not only the school but The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints. Our conduct should be such that we live our religion and are a light and a beacon to those around us. We are to conduct ourselves consistently with the principles and values of the Church in areas such as the Word of Wisdom, which states specifically the absence of alcoholic beverages and tobacco products in our lives, as well as any other harmful substances. Our conduct should be guarded as well. We are not to be involved with pornographic items, or gambling. We are to refrain from obscene or disorderly conduct, as well as avoiding materials, expressions, or statements that would cause offense. These are all things that are specifically outlined in the everyday living of our lives as Saints, and should be nothing that takes getting used to.

A final topic to be looked at is the subject of conduct. The Honor Code simply states that as a student of Brigham Young University we should live our lives keeping in mind that we not only represent the University, but The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints as well. Our conduct should be consistent with the principles and values of our Church since we clearly have the Word of Wisdom outlined, such as the absence of alcoholic beverages, tobacco products, and other harmful substances in our lives. We also clearly have outlined for us the avoidance of materials, expressions, or even statements that will cause offense. Our conduct is to be guarded, avoiding pornographic items, or the habit forming activities such as gambling. These are areas that are specifically addressed in the everyday living of our lives as Saints, and should be nothing that takes getting used to.

I shortened my wordy sentences and was more concise with my ideas...
I changed some of the word choice so that it was more professional and correlated more with the overall message of the paragraph.
I switched the order of a few of the sentences so that the overall flow of ideas worked out to be clear
I changed my approach of the subject as well with a new topic sentence so that it was a little more straight forward and attention grabbing.

Free Response

For my free response today I'm going to talk about how I dislike how stupid BYUSA is taking over SHA (student honor association). Well I volunteer at SHA where they come up with fun ways such as Posters, firesides, movies, songs, skits, ect to remind people of the honor code that they signed when coming here to Brigham Young University. I am on the poster committee and we have made a whole bunch of different posters, I've made one myself on academic honesty! The new student orientation that takes place for incoming freshman always has a dinner with a show of skits and funny songs about parts of the honor code that we should all be aware of. BYUSA is power hungry and are taking over everything they possibly can here at BYU and they are taking over this little service organization SHA so that it will become something that's less open and has to be applied to. I have made a vast number of friends while I have volunteered here and this is something that I'm going to miss immensely in the coming years here at this HUGE University. SHA provided a way for me to have a smaller environment that I felt a part of and comfortable in, and that I could easily interact with others and be able to make more friends through the already existing friendships.